Creating rules for two homes after a divorce

North Carolina parents who are going through a divorce will have to figure out a co-parenting agreement. One of the challenges families face is dealing with two different sets of house rules. While this may not seem like a big deal, having different standards in each home can be confusing for children.

After a divorce, children need order and constancy. A unified set of rules for both houses can help accomplish this. One parent might be more stern in some instances, but it is better to have the same rules in both houses anyway. Otherwise, it may be more difficult for children to adjust when they are allowed leeway in one household but not the other.

If parents are having trouble agreeing on bedtimes, chores, proper manners and more, a parenting class or mediation might be necessary. Parenting workshops teach parents to compromise, offer child rearing norms and provide examples to demonstrate the importance of a cohesive set of rules. A mediator also helps parents reach a compromise by facilitating communication and trying to help parents reach a solution that benefits all parties.

Parents may wish to make a list of rules they want to enforce and then divide the items according to how flexible one can be about each rule. There may be some rules one feels strongly about, such as no texting at the dinner table or no violent video games. To get the rules one wants the most, this person should give the other parent something they want in return. Both parents must recognize that neither one will have complete control in crafting the rules.

While it can be hard to deal with an ex, parents must set aside differences for the good of the children. This is typically necessary when making a child custody arrangement. Children usually benefit from a relationship with both parents, so joint custody might be the best option.

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