Coparenting With A Narcissistic Ex-Spouse

Parents in Charlotte who have divorced narcissistic spouses may find that their exes have been using their children as a weapon against them. One woman’s narcissistic ex-spouse often created problems whenever there was a court action that forced him to follow their divorce agreement. She had just filed a fifth time to get him to pay support when he sent an email saying the children did not want to come back to her place because they were afraid of her.

Initially, she did not take this email seriously since it was typical of his actions in the past. However, over the next week, he informed her children’s school, his attorney and child protective services that she had abused the children. The two had been sharing time with the children 50/50, but she faced the possibility of not seeing them again for weeks. Finally, following an investigation, the police told her that the charges had no basis and that she would be allowed to take the children home as usual.

Narcissists can manipulate children by causing them to question their memories and perception as well as by lying to them. Parents must be prepared to respond if an ex-spouse’s narcissistic tendencies are turned toward their children. They might need to work with therapists, and they should reinforce unconditional love toward their children regardless of how the other parent behaves.

Ideally, during and after a divorce, ex-spouses should work together for the best interests of their children. However, not every parent is prepared to do this. Someone who is facing false accusations of abuse from his or her ex and believes that the other parent is putting his or her child’s well-being in danger may want to talk to an attorney about the situation. If the children are at risk of harm from the other parent, that person might be restricted to supervised visitation.